Election Day Feature!

Well Election Day is finally here!! From that statement, several may draw the conclusion that I’m a die-hard political follower excited about a new round of politicians about to take office. Not really. I’m actually excited that I can now watch my favorite tv shows without hearing another political ad. Don’t get me wrong, I do my civic duty and all, I just get tired of the ridiculous ads.
I thought this would be a good day to feature some of the recent politicians and public figures who deserve a spot on “Random Acts of Stupid”!

Mark Sanford of course is the current republican governor of South Carolina. Thankfully, he is about to be the former governor of South Carolina. The local tv station here actually wasted a few minutes of my news time asking him what he was planning to do now, what’s next? Who cares? I didn’t care what he did when he was in office; let alone what he is going to do now. Remember, he is the governor that made national news when he went missing for days. Supposedly he was out hiking the Appalachian Trail. Of course, the country soon found out that he was actually “Tapping the Argentinian Tail”. I’m actually starting a campaign encouraging him to move to Argentina. I understand that their village idiot has passed on and they are currently looking for another one. I can’t think of a better candidate than Mark Sanford. I mean, he’s served as our village idiot for the last several years…just think of all the experience he could take to the job.

Jim DeMint is one of those politicians who I have nothing good to say about, so I usually say nothing at all. However, who can ignore his remarks about public education and teachers. For those of you who are in the dark, Jim DeMint said a few years ago that any teacher who is a homosexual or an unwed mother should be fired. Now, most intelligent people (obviously Mr. DeMint is excluded, bless his heart) realize the flaw in this. I would love to have been on the side challenging that remark. What about the male teachers nailing everything that moves? Are they ok? I mean, there isn’t any proof that they are having sex. They can’t get pregnant so, are they ok to teach? What about divorced people? I’m sure that ranks low for Mr. DeMint. If you strip away everyone he thinks shouldn’t be teaching, well there isn’t many people left now is there? Unfortunately he will continue to be elected.

Carl Paladino of course is the republican candidate for New York governor. I love New York City and can’t imagine that the people there will actually elect this man as governor. I may just have to boycott NY for a few years if indeed he gets elected. He was the one of course that made news for several reasons. Most notably because he made some very anti-gay remarks. His wife actually spoke out against him. I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t support her husband—oh wait—that’s right, there was that whole extra-marrital affair/love child thing. Could it be maybe that their marriage isn’t the strongest pillar at the Coliseum? I’m not sure where Paladino thinks he has the right to talk about morality. He obviously has had a difficult time keeping it in his pants during his life. Perhaps he should just skip over all the controversial moral issues. I mean, seriously, it’s like Mark Sanford giving a lecture on the sanctity of marriage!

Clint McCance recently made news when he posted extremely anti-gay remarks on his Facebook page. Actually saying he was glad that gays get aids and die and that he would disown his own children if they were gay. Have you seen Clint McCance? My first thought was OMG!!!!! A missing link has been found!!!!! And imagine my surprise when I learned that it speaks too!! It doesn’t speak intelligently or have anything intelligent worth saying, but it does speak. Scientists all over the world should have been ecstatic that a missing link this well preserved is actually living and serving in a public position! Of course McCance is now recanting and apologizing because his family is under fire. He’s getting an up close and personal view of what hate feels like and he doesn’t like it. He has resigned from the school board position. The kids in that Arkansas district are now better off. I mean really….where the hell is natural selection when you need it?

It should be an interesting election night. Unfortnately for South Carolina, I'm pretty sure the republicans will win. I've told my partner we may need to move if Haley and Zais gets elected. I holding out that at least one democrat will make it into office and provide some balance. After Mark Sanford for the last few years, South Carolina needs a governor who will actually work for the people instead of flying off to Argentina to have sex.