Robes and Wings?

So, halloween is always a stressful time of year for me! We throw a big party for all of our friends (costume of course) and have a great time. Coming up with a good costume is always a big challenge. Last year, I went as a vampire. It was overall a great costume except my fangs wouldn't stay in...I don't know how vampires do it!! So this year, we decided to go as Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort (me being Lord Voldemort of course).

So, a few weekends ago we went and found our costumes at a local halloween store after a very long time of searching! When I got home, I realized my "robe" was actually a cape with a hood and not a robe at all. So today we stopped in to buy the robe.

Now, I fully understand the concept that these stores are only open once a year, and sometimes I think that's probably all the people who work there come out from, well wherever they live. So, after searching for sometime for a robe, my partner finally told me to ask one of the ladies who worked there. Conversation below:

Me: "excuse me, do you have any black robes" (this is afterall halloween...it's a staple right?)

Her: "Robes? Black Robes? We have black Wings"

Me: (confused look on my face as to how we got from robes to wings) "Oh ok"

So at this point, whether it's because I'm still trying to figure out how the hell I ask for a robe and she throws out wings, I'm ready to leave, more distraught because I'm leaving tuesday for a conference and won't be back until the day before the party. However, we ran into another worker there who when wasked the questions said "Why yes, we have a bunch of robes".

I'm still not sure what the sales person we asked the first time was on, but I might be interested. Last time I looked, Lord Voldemort wasn't flying around Muggleville with tiny wings!

Random Acts of Stupid--The Beginning

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher once said "Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed". This quote should be displayed across billboards across the country. It seems like in the last year, the number of random acts of stupidity has increased significantly. Perhaps I've become more cynical over the last year or maybe I've just lost patience. I have to steel myself every time I walk into Wal-Mart these days. Rarely does a trip to Wal-Mart go by without some person doing something incredibly stupid. It's weird, Wal-Mart seems to be a gathering place of those who don't think before they act or speak. During my most recent trip to Wal-Mart, I almost had my car totaled by a redneck driving a pickup truck. As I was pulling out of my parking spot, he nearly slammed into me and proceeded to blow his horn at me like I was doing something wrong. I have to admit, I did not look in that direction to make sure nothing was coming because it was a ONE WAY road. Now, how might one discern which way to go in a parking lot? Well there are three key indicators to look for.

#1 The first and most prominent is the white arrow painted on the ground. Your vehicle should be moving in the same direction as the arrow, not against the arrow. Against the arrow is bad.

#2 The second key indicator to look for is which direction the cars are parked in. If you have to make a five point turn to get in the parking lot, a light bulb should be going off. First look for the arrow, then look to see if perhaps it's so hard getting in the parking spot because the cars are parked the wrong way, you know, the lines being drawn in such a way that the person going the right direction can easily get between them.

#3 The third indicator is all the people blowing their horn at you, cussing at you and making gestures at you with certain fingers.

The before mentioned redneck in the pickup truck of course did not take notice of any of the indicators above. Unfortunately, it wasn't a good day to tick me off. Fortunately, it was a warm day which means my top was down on my car allowing him to hear everything he was doing wrong in choice words and gestures. I'm still certain he was confused, bless his heart. My partner fully expects to get the call one day that I've been shot in the Wal-Mart parking lot because I've cussed out yet another stupid person. Stupidity is everywhere!! From a cheating gubernatorial candidate having the audacity that he gets to have an opinion about gays and morality to one of South Carolinas own deciding he should have an opinion as to who gets to teach and not teach based on his definition of morality. Most of the Random acts of Stupidity I come across tend to be in politics so I'm sure many of the posts will be about the people we the people elect. I could fill ten blogs with the acts of stupidity I read about or come across each day while out and about shopping and such, but for now, I'll just highlight the best!